All your burning questions answered:
- What’s one thing I pretend to love, but hate?
- What question do I hate being asked?
- What’s one misconception I wish I could address?
Everyone says they want criticism.
That’s a lie.
We all want to be told we’re great and what we’re doing is awesome to validate the concept that we’re enough.
But the road to progress is paved with speed bumps and potholes (especially where I live), and we have to reconcile the fact that criticism is what we need to get better.
I tell people when promoting my stories that I love criticism. I don’t.That’s a huge lie. I’m a liar. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need it and though it may take me several hours to digest the crit, I’m still going to take it because I know I have to.
As for a question I hate being asked, there’s a variety, but they’re mostly due to how I look.
- How old are you anyway? Old enough to be annoyed at teenagers, young enough to still call older people “Ma’am/Sir”.
- Where are you from? (Insert suburb name here) But where are you from really? (Names different area I was raised in) But I mean…? (??)
- So do you have an English name? Angela. My name is Angela. It’s on my birth certificate.
- You speak English really well! Was that…was that a question?
Full disclosure, there’s nothing physically wrong with asking these questions, and most of the time I’m totally fine with answering it. Except for the English one because yiiikes. But the general assumption that I’m not from a country I’ve lived in for literally my whole life is just really annoying.
As for questions, I hate in general, it would be:
- Tell me about yourself *Insert existential crisis*
- What’s the book you’re reading about? *So absorbed in story I can’t even explain it*
- What’s your favorite book/movie/song? *Screams internally* I have to pick one?
- When are you updating? God, I’d love to know too…
In all seriousness, I dislike questions that aim to quantify or condense complex things if you’re only asking them in response to social etiquette – meaning you don’t really care – which is fine because you’ll honestly just think I’m super weird if I give you any of the responses that actually pop into my head when people ask.
The reason I hate them, to be quite honest, is because of the nature around social etiquette. People don’t necessary ask to know, they ask so they can respond which works perfectly for an introvert like me, but when it’s flipped around to me having to answer, well…
AND FINALLY, the one misconception I wish I could clear up?
That I’m a nice little wallflower you can walk over and take advantage of, and I won’t notice and it won’t hurt me.
Yes, I’m nice. Yes, I’m a wallflower. But this misunderstanding people have about me, that I don’t mind being taken for granted is just so far from the truth.
Due to my personality type (INFP) I tend towards giving people the benefit of the doubt – always listening, always considering, always handing out second chances – which makes my type prime target for abusers (of the physical, mental and or emotional variety). We’re a giving-forgiving type, is what I’m trying to say, and we know it’s bad for us because there are always people willing to take that and twist it until we actually hate who we are.
We take what people do to us, and we turn it in on ourselves – if we could have seen it sooner; if we weren’t so nice; if we just said ‘no’ that one time.
INFPs like myself don’t turn their insecurities out on others if they can help it so yeah, we may act like you didn’t hurt us, but shit, if only you knew.